Thursday, July 5, 2012

Please learn to speak English

The Learn English Act passed the house today with bipartisan support. The bill mandates that all candidates for congress pass a test of basic English before being placed on the ballot and, in a concession to Democrats, allocates billions of dollars of funding for ESOL (English as a Second Language) instruction as long as most of the money is spent on no-bid contracts given to the language-learning software companies that donate the most money to campaigns.

In a surprise twist, however, the entire congressional delegation from Mississippi and roughly half the delegations of Georgia, Alabama, and northern Florida have been ruled unfit for reelection. The candidates failed a test of 10th grade English vocabulary and were deemed completely unintelligible by 54% of the listeners who grade verbal skills.

Rosetta Stone, winner of the first no-bid contract, said it will offer it's English (American) software to the candidates free of charge.

This post was inspired by Rep. Bill Young.

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