Friday, July 19, 2013

Breaking: Tebow killed Odin Lloyd

In a shocking twist to the Aaron Hernandez murder investigation, it appears Tim Tebow is taking responsibility for the murder of Odin Lloyd.

In a press conference Tebow said he did "terrible, terrible things"to Lloyd. He claims to have erupted in rage after finding out that Lloyd had "disgraced himself and God by taking a life" by forcing his girlfriend to have an abortion. Tebow announced that he would "take full responsibility for [his] actions, and the consequences" adding that he "just want[s] to help the team win."

The shocking development clears the way for the Patriots to resign Hernandez at a discount as the Bristol County DA is unlikely to win any case against Hernandez.

ESPN's Skip Bayless bemoaned the "selfless act" saying Tebow "took a bullet for Aaron Hernandez, he is not guilty" and insisted Tebow could do more to help the team by dethroning Tom Brady as the Patriots starting QB. The rest of the world agreed that the Patriot's acquisition of Tebow has paid off handsomely.