High school dropouts are lobbying for legislative change on April 20th which marks "equal pay day." As Austin Jackson, a sanitation engineer in Owensboro, Kentucky explained, "today marks the day that people like me (high school dropouts) have earned as much since January 1, 2000 as a doctor did in the year 2000."
Critics say dropouts could have continued their education and gotten M.D.s if they wanted to earn more money but the Equal Pay Campaign responded in a press release that "u don't rly believe that shit?" A spokesman explained that tuition at medical schools is approaching an average of $40,000 meaning you have to spend an "asston" of money before you can start earning "a fuckton" in return. Economists call the idea of spending money now to earn more later "investing" and use the technical term "dumbass" to refer to those who don't invest.
In other news, a statistic taken out of context five years ago was successfully put back in context by a team of statisticians at Harvard University.