Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Obama: "I didn't pass that"

Today President Obama has reversed his position on "you didn't build that" explaining that the conventional wisdom was right and he "was wrong." He went on to say that he bears no responsibility for Obamacare because "I didn't pass that, the congress did." When asked if the political pressure he exerted on party members and the input his administration had on crafting the bill counted for anything he said "about as much [credit] as the police should get for preventing theft thus protecting profits--absolutely zero percent."

Democratic House Majority Leader Nancy Pelosi  said she did not agree with the president because "most Americans are too dumb to understand proof by contradiction or his point here." She reiterated that "most Americans are so fucking stupid they think small business owners invented the Internet." 2000 election popular vote winner Al Gore declined to comment on the origins of the Internet was asked.

The president was not the only candidate backtracking today. When informed of the president's comments, Republic nominee Mitt Romney exclaimed "that's right . . . I passed a pretty much identical bill in Massachusetts! Give credit where credit is due, Mr. President" to roaring applause but quickly backtracking and asking an advisor, "how do I twist this so I am not responsible for Romneycare but he is responsible for Obamacare?"

Recent polls show that 65% of Americans believe small business owners built America's roads. When asked if a business that started paying taxes after a road was built could take credit for building that particularly road, a plurality responded "whatever choice will make Obama sound bad."

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