B.S. in English

Gerald Howard tells us about the value of his English degree with stories from his experience working as an editor:

We were theoretically required at that time to have our [profit and loss statements] yield a return of at least 8 percent, and I had become adept in ways to make or exceed that number. You could shave on the cover art. You could shave on marketing and advertising. You could basically lie about projected sales and hope no one called you on it. The techniques I had developed in college to make my ham-handed chem lab experiments yield the proper results found a practical new use.

Basically, you could lie.

But Gerald didn't lie . . . that much. His profit and loss statement only estimated a 7% rate of return so the CFO didn't want to approve it. How did he convince him?

 I made some weak noises about literary excellence, backlist sales, commitment to authors.

Basically, he made up some bullshit. (See "The Rule of 2.")

Lying and bullshitting are valuable skills, especially on Wall Street, where many Ivy League humanities majors look for a job. But Gerald doesn't think you should major in English just for the skill set.

The point is truth and beauty . . . [they are] why you should major in English.

That is not a typo. He writes it twice: "truth."

Don't be a Martin in FL

A lot of people have the Trayvon Martin story all wrong.

The focus has been on race. Travyon was black. George Zimmerman was not. That is why Travyon was killed.

But white people get killed by assholes in FL too. In fact, the most famous "stand your ground" case, one where the law actually applied, featured a black man who killed a white man in front of the white man's pre-school age daughter.

Now the sports world is abuzz about the racist treatment of Jonathan Martin at the hands of his fellow offensive lineman Richie Incognito. But does anyone doubt that white rookies get hazed in the NFL too, inside FL and outside?

The real common denominator in these cases is not race, it's the last name Martin.

If you're last name is Martin get the fuck out of FL ASAP for your safety and wellbeing.

Black people get murdered and harassed in every state, leaving FL is no escape. But Martin's seem to be singled out in the sunshine state.

Medicine isn't a Science

We've all heard a lot about how economics isn't a science like physics, medicine, and chemistry.

Economists didn't predict the financial crisis. Didn't you hear?

That got me thinking.

Susumu Tonegawa who won the Nobel prize in Medicine in 1987, is a professor at MIT. His son also went to MIT.

I say "went" not because he graduated but because he committed suicide during his freshmen year, right in his dorm room.

If medicine were a science, Tonewaga would have been able to predict his son's death. But he couldn't. You draw the conclusion.

But it isn't just Tonegawa who gets this stuff wrong. My wife is reading How Doctors Think so I read through a few chapters and it seems like every doctor has misdiagnosed a patient. In fact, even the good ones he singled out recount many misdiagnoses, sometimes even fatal ones.

You almost get impression from reading the book that doctors don't really understand the human body well enough to predict when people will get sick or prevent people from dying. But medicine is a science so I guess that is a wrong impression.

2016: Christie vs Crist

Here's my prediction for the 2016 presidential election.

Charlie Crist (D-FL) goes to war with Chris Christie (R-NJ) as both parties double down on "electability" after only allowing independents to vote in their primaries.

The suicide rate for journalists goes through the roof as they struggle to get the names straight.

The average voter refers to them as "the fat one" and "you mean that closest homo?"

The election ultimately comes down to Charlie's home state, FL, where half the voters are senior citizens who can't distinguish the names on the ballot.

Luckily for Charlie he's the governor of FL and has pulled a "Jeb," rigging the election in his favor.

Chris Christie petitions the Supreme Court to overturn the result and they think they did, but an 80-year old Scalia is charged with writing the opinion. The senile old man, entering his 25th year of suffering from Alzheimer's, writes "Charlie Crist" when he meant "Chris Christie" ensuring Charlie becomes the first gay president of the U.S.

I think I'm starting to understand Medicine

I've always been puzzled at how much "health research" money goes into developing drugs and understanding the biochemistry of the body. Shouldn't we spend more money thinking about how to get people to actually take up our current medical knowledge to use--getting people to exercise more, actually take their pills, eat healthier, and practice mindfulness and other good psychological practices.

This letter to the editor to the NYTimes helped me understand why we don't:

Re “Yes, Economics Is a Science” (Op-Ed, Oct. 21): ...
It is good to hear that economics is entering a phase when rigorous analysis and empirical testing will become the norm. . . . Scholars of physics, chemistry and medicine can study the movement of atomic particles or lab mice without any concern that the particles and the mice are interested in the results. . . .
DAVID C. WROBEL
New York, Oct. 21, 2013
The writer is a lawyer.

Medical research isn't about understanding how to make people healthy, it is about understanding mice!

Abortion Rights back in the spotlight

The Supreme Court ruled today that people have a right to abortions, invalidating centuries of precedent that people have to pay for services like surgery and tax preparation.

In the case, Fluke vs Holder, argued pro se by Georgetown law graduate and “slut” Sandra Fluke, the plaintiff argued that she has “abortion rights” as established in Row v. Wade. Since she had to drive a long distance and pay more than she wanted to get the abortion, her rights were being unconstitutionally trampled on by the market.

In a reversal of precedent the court agreed with Ms. Fluke, rejected the Obama administration’s argument that people had to pay for goods and service like food, tablet computers and prime real estate and abortion did not have a special place in U.S. law.

Well, it does now.

Next week the court will hear Cook vs. Fanboys Limited, a case where Apple fanboys claim they have a right to upgrade their tablets for free, at Apple’s expense, due to their “medically documented obsession with Apple products,” a DSM-VI certified psychological disorder. Pundits predict the court will be confused about what it is exactly that a “tablet” does.

NYTranslated: Does music make you successful?

Is Music the Key to Success?
by Joanne Lipman, translated by Steve White

Condoleeza Rice, the chief advisor to George W. Bush, the least successful president in recent memory, was a trained concert pianist. Alan Greenspan, the man who inflated the housing bubble as Chairman of the Federal Reserve, also played music as a child. Other people you have never heard of, the fat numbers gay at MSNBC, and the least deserving Best Director winner of all time also play or played music.

I know correlation is not causation, but in this case we'll just assume it is: music training makes people successful. I know because I asked a bunch of successful people who played music if music made them successful. They said maybe it had something to do with it now that I mention it.

You might ask why I asked people I knew were successful and who play music. Doesn't that beg the question on the correlation. Yes, but I was scared that if I asked successful people who didn't play music (most of them) that they might not attribute their success to music. I was even more afraid to talk to average people who played music (i.e. the vast majority) because it might force me to change my mind.

So, yes, I can't offer evidence for why music makes you smart, but I can offer a half-baked theory filled with buzzwords. Music is about collaboration, except when you play solo like most of the people I talked to. It focuses your mind, like mindfulness training except not as well. And it to play you have to listen and listening is good. I'll stop because you are probably convinced at this point.

Mr. Greenspan told me that the probability that so many high achievers played music in school is unlikely to be coincidence. Sociologists I consulted pointed out that everyone on my list was white or from an affluent household, and in most cases both, but I'm pretty sure that has nothing to do with their success.

So let me clarify. Music won't turn you into a star in your field. That probably requires hard work . . . in your field. But music education should be subsidized heavily so rich white kids can attribute their success to their violin and ignore the underlying social inequalities it represents.